How does it feel to be twenty one?

by Darija ZACHAROVA

When you are twenty one almost every person who is whatever older than you is telling you, that you life has just begun, and till it is so easy, you have to enjoy it. Those people usually say that life becomes harder and harder each year you grow up.

When you are twenty one almost every person who is whatever older than you is telling you, that you life has just begun, and till it is so easy, you have to enjoy it. Those people usually say that life becomes harder and harder each year you grow up.

Sometimes, in the middle of listening to their blab I just want to interrupt it suddenly, poke them and say:

“Are you trying to convince me that I have no things in my life to worry about?

Can you ever imagine how does it feel to be me? Generally, how does it feel to be young in the 21^st century? You think it is the way it used to be when you were teen, don’t you? Well, maybe you could compete if you had so many things in your life happening in one time.

We have no time. My generation is non-stop. Always moving. Running for the better possibilities. Sometimes you just want to rest for a while, to recover your breath. Then you realise you have already missed a lot during this timeout and start running faster to chase them all, which makes you even more tired.

From time to time it seems to me that I am getting old so quickly. I guess it is because too many things, surrounding me, change permanently. There is no enough place in my S size head to place all these numerous tiny stories.

I am quite worried about my memory condition. If you asked me what I did last week at the same time, I am afraid it would take ages for me to remember something. After useless attempts to reconstruct recent occasions I would probably appeal to my cell phone, email or FB account.

What do I find there? Hundreds of senseless conversations, thousands of empty words, millions of hidden emotions. Arrangements, events. Pictures and videos. I can’t say I don’t like them. They are the surface of my life’s pond. What I hate is that we are not trying to “dive” deeper anymore, one superficial sight on the shiny avatar makes us believe we know enough. We are too selfish to ask. We are too proud to learn. Or maybe we are just afraid to.

Still you have to be friendly if you’re twenty one. You have to be as everybody else but unique on the same time. You have to look and talk nice. You have to have at least two pairs of jeans. You have to go to parties to keep in touch with friends but somehow also you have to find time to read books and watch movies, which everybody is talking about on pre- and after-parties. You have to have your own opinion, but it shouldn’t be opposite to everybody’s. It may be, but you will be misunderstood then.

In addition, if you’re young it is better for you to think about your future. You have to study, or work, or study and work. I still can’t decide whether the phrase “live this day” is right or wrong. Yes, I am trying to take everything from my life today but how is it possible? What if I just let leave things to take their own course? Who will then take care of my parents when they will get old? Who will buy toys to my future children? Finally, who will fund my “this day” life if I won’t do my best now?

Moreover, everybody of us needs certain people around. Sometimes we don’t have those certain people. We need our friends as well, but sometimes friends are not enough. We need somebody special. We need somebody to do crazy things with. We need even more troubles in our lives. If you are around twenty, you are kind of masochist.

Young people are always trying to be responsible, but trying to be independent from the conditions of this life. Trying to find out more about everybody around when they still don’t know everything about themselves. Trying to understand and to be understood.

So do you still believe I have no troubles in my life? Are you sure? Think one more time!

That’s what I want to tell those sure my life is so easy. But instead I just smile and nod with humbleness.